Remorse
by cait83
Summary: Muses wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote this...


Disclaimer: You recognise it then I probably don't own it. I'm just borrowing them…

Author note: This idea popped into my head this morning and I just couldn't get the muses to shut up about it so I finally decided to write it down and see what you guys think… Psst… a Kleenex might be needed.

Rated R just to be safe (basically, I'd rather rate it too high than too low)

Please leave comments, it's the only food my muses accept…

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He stared out the window, down at the street. A car drove slowly down the road. A man with his dog walked on the sidewalk. His unseeing eyes followed the movements of the people below but all of his senses were focused on the silent form on the bed behind him. Dead but not dead, alive but not alive.

He could still remember the first time he saw her. The sweet little angel that had trusted him with her life, and he'd failed her. He shouldn't have listened to her. Shouldn't have given in. He loved her with all his heart, all his soul, every bone in his immortal body. Yet, he had done this to her. Transformed her into this shell, this empty beauty. She loved him, trusted him, and he had betrayed her. Failed her so completely. His beautiful girl.

A pained expression crossed his face and he placed a hand against the window for support as the pain tore through him in waves. He watched her reflection in the window. She looked at peace. Like she was sleeping. Still so beautiful.

She had accepted him for what he was. Supported him. Challenged his mind and sheltered his heart. She knew what he was, the monster that resided within him, and she had accepted it. They had been a couple for almost a year. A year filled with happiness, quarrelling and bantering. He'd never before, in all his years, been so happy. She completed him.

When she first brought it up, he'd simply refused to approach the subject. Gradually she'd worn him down. Made him talk to her about it. About the possibility to turn her, make her into what he was. A vampire. He should've refused. Should've held his ground, never faltered. But, he couldn't refuse her. Couldn't deny her anything she wanted. He'd caved and now here they were. She'd trusted him to bring her across and he'd failed her.

He turned slowly and walked back to her. They had spoken at length about this. All the things that could go wrong. He'd just never thought it would come to this. He didn't want to loose her. Not like this. He gently traced a finger over her cheek. So white now but still so smooth, so soft. He bit back a strangled cry, a plea for her to wake up. There was no use for it now. She couldn't hear him.

He looked around the room. Fresh cut flowers in vases here and there. Her favourites. They had set the scene perfectly to make it as beautiful as they could. Romantic even. The sight cut at his heart like knives. Thousands of knives. He turned back to look at her again as he sat down on the bed next to her.

She'd been so full of life, so vibrant. Only hours before she'd whispered she loved him as he sank his fangs into her creamy, warm, flesh. He'd drained her slowly, made it as pleasurable as he possibly could for her. Then he'd bit down on his wrist and fed his blood to her. She swallowed a gulp then nothing. No movements. No breath, no anything. He'd pleaded with her to wake up. Shaken her. Slapped her. Nothing had worked. She'd sunk into oblivion and never returned. Left him.

A muffled moan escaped his lips. He couldn't hold it back anymore. Tears rolling down his cheeks as he lay down next to her. Stretched out next to her silent form. The pain lashed through him and he let out a strangled cry as he pulled her closer to him. Burying his face against her soft skin, the silk of her curls. He cried. Wept for the life he'd lost, the love. His heart breaking all over again he finally accepted the truth. She was gone. Would never return to him.

He raised himself up to watch her beautiful face. Etching it into his memory. Softly, he caressed her brow and cheek then leaned down to kiss her lips one last time. He lingered there, committing her taste to memory. He would have to make the call soon, but he needed these moments of goodbye in private first. After one last kiss he whispered the words he'd prayed he'd never have to say.

"I'm so sorry. I love you, I always will. Forgive me, Beth. Forgive me"


End file.
